Year of the Bible

Image from iStock

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them” (Eph. 2:10, NKJV).

It seems I was born to suffer. The physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my father began when I was 4-years-old. I was always sick, to the point that the doctors diagnosed that I could be either mute or deaf for the rest of my life. I was bullied during my school years and always struggled to “fit in.” I got into a toxic relationship that destroyed my heart, my identity and self-esteem. I felt sick, lonely, rejected and purposeless.

Tired of fighting hard for belonging, love and health, it crossed my mind to take my own life. I was missing something; rather Someone.

Image from iStock

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Pet. 5:7, NIV).

To be honest, when I was first asked to write a devotional, I desperately wanted to decline. I felt my heart beat a little faster and my breath become shorter—symptoms associated with anxiety. The fear of not being good enough was so overwhelming, and I was just about to say no until I remembered 1 Peter 5:7. I’ve heard this verse multiple times, and right at that moment, it stuck with me.

Image from iStock

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5–6, NKJV).

This text became especially significant to our family when we planned
to move from Nigeria to the United States, where I was to study in the seminary at Andrews University (Mich.). I applied for a visa for myself, my wife and our little boy. Well-meaning people shared horror stories with us of their visa application denials, and suggested that perhaps I should apply for the visa alone and try to apply for my wife and child later. Maybe we would have better luck that way.

Image from iStock

“Whom have I in heaven but You? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides You” (Ps. 73:25, NKJV).

It was 25 years ago, and I’ve never experienced anything like it before or since; not that anyone else hasn’t had the same issue. In my mid-30s, I experienced depression for the first time in my life. Being a very positive person who is known for my laugh and optimistic demeanor, it was such a stark contrast from my usual state of mind.

Image from iStock

“But Jesus said, suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:14, KJV).

One hot July, I was working as a literature evangelist. That morning, I held just one lead card—the person I had been requested to visit that day. The name David was scribbled on the card, obviously a child’s handwriting. The house was more than an hour away on narrow roads.

It was two days before payday, and my tires were bald. I had enough fuel to make the trip, and $1.76 in cash.

Dear Lord, tell me what to do.